I used to have a friend who I spent a lot of time with. We talked on the phone nearly every day. We were honest with each other about our insecurities and jealousies. We made each other laugh.
One day, when we were walking together down St. Mark’s Place, one of us said the phrase, “Make new friends.” I don’t remember what the context was—which one of us said it, or why. But I do remember that we both instantly started singing the Brownie Friendship Song: “Make new friends / but keep the old / one is silver / and the other is gold.” Both of us, simultaneously. It was very weird, but also kind of magic. Our minds were in precisely the same place. What a great feeling, to feel so understood.
But soon thereafter we had a falling out because, apparently, two such insecure people as we two couldn’t really avoid making each other feel insecure. I was very lonely without her for a long time. I felt like someone had chopped off a part of my body. I couldn’t figure out who I could talk to about the things we used to talk about. I thought about the Brownie song—making new friends, keeping the old. It didn’t seem that I could do either one very well.
But then I got over it. I never think about her at all anymore. I’m not even sad that we aren’t friends, though I guess I am sort of sad that I’m not sad about losing her.
Other People's Thoughts
i’ve been there…
loss of someone you think connects to your soul is the most painful thing in the world.
physical pain cannot even touch it.
— lelly Monday May 1, 2006 #
i had one of those once too… don’t think i’ll ever ‘get over it’ though.
— i Monday May 1, 2006 #
I’ve had that happen, before… and years later, we reconnected… so perhaps there is hope. With age can come forgiveness, along with wisdom…
— Paula Monday May 1, 2006 #
Oh, God. I hope so. I really, really hope that’s true.
— katie Thursday June 1, 2006 #
The Saddest Thing I Own is a 2005 commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc., (aka Ether-Ore) for its Turbulence web site. It is supported by the Jerome Foundation in celebration of the Jerome Hill Centennial and in recognition of the valuable contributions of artists to society.