The saddest thing I carry with me is my own burden and the inability to love another.
I had a fine childhood. I don’t know what is wrong with me.
Every time I get involved in a relationship, I have to find means to eventually end it. I cannot make myself happy, and I bring all of my signficant others down. I sit and sulk in my own self derived pain. I am unable to create if I am not in pain. I’m not sure what is wrong with me.
I have lost great loves. I have lost budding relationships that could have really been fulfilling.
Other People's Thoughts
i understand you, completely. I feel the same in every way. im only happy when im sad and when im happy it doesn’t feel like happiness at all. but during my period of sadness, I’ve learned so much, about myself, the world and the people in it. some people, i guess, just arn’t meant to be happy, but these people like us have a beautiful gift, we can appreciate the little things, the ones that others ignore, we have the ability to transform out sadness into great things. Yes, we might live in sadness for the rest of our lives but it truly is a beautiful sadness, one that few people can appreciate. I hope you can become one of them.
— matthew Saturday November 21, 2009 #
this is the exact story of my life as well..
— nobody else Tuesday November 24, 2009 #
You must be commitment phobic. Counselling might help.
— Joy Friday November 27, 2009 #
I have been in your shoes—you just need to take that leap of faith—even if you lose the person in the end—at least you have loved. It does hurt, but better then decades of being alone—i did not even date. I finally found someone, and blessed with a child in my late forties. I wish you well. A friend once told me you have to be your own best friend before anyone can care for you. Be kind to yourself and start liking yourself you—you are a good person and deserve happiness in this life. it is not easy..i still battle it some days still in my happy marriage trying to ruin for no reason other than i do nor deserve it.
— Noran Monday November 30, 2009 #
I always hear your entire life flashes in front of your eyes a second before you die guulp !!!.. That one second isn´t a second at all it strechs on forever like an ocean of time… by the way… I saaaay I don´t want to watch a boring movie before i die wikiwikispider…Karla Ahide
— Karla Ahide Wednesday January 27, 2010 #
I am the EXACT same way. I guess it’s at least mildly comforting to know that I am not the only person with this problem.
— anon Saturday January 30, 2010 #
I understand you too much
— Harry Haller Friday April 23, 2010 #
Unless you have some sort of a “chemical imbalance” , there is nothing wrong with you. You just seem to have an affinity for being a self-sabotaging martyr. Anytime you look outside yourself for “happiness” – you will fail in the long-term. Most likely – until you can have a relationship with “self”, you will likely struggle with all other relationships.
— C. West Wednesday September 1, 2010 #
The Saddest Thing I Own is a 2005 commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc., (aka Ether-Ore) for its Turbulence web site. It is supported by the Jerome Foundation in celebration of the Jerome Hill Centennial and in recognition of the valuable contributions of artists to society.