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A Picture From Before I Ruined It All
Posted On Thursday March 15, 2007 By flx
It’s been years, it’s been forever, but I still remember and have the nightmares. I shouldn’t have done what I did, and I know it was all my selfishness that led to it. I hurt her, why? Did I even think about it or care at the time? I think I may have killed the girl in this picture, at least inside. She never did seem to be quite the same after.
She didn’t deserve the awful things that happened to her before. She didn’t deserve to have the awful thing that was me happen to her later.
I never deserved for her to love me like she did.
I pray that she’s happy now and never has to think of me again. But I know I’ll never forget her.
I don’t deserve to get off that easy.
Tags: betrayal, girlfriend, guilt, love, shame
Other People's Thoughts
In your regret, though, you’ve potentially exposed her. You’ve posted her face publicly. Potentially, I hate to say it, you’ve opened a chance for her to be hurt more.
— Ian Monday March 19, 2007 #
I have to say I agree. I thought more than twice before making this post live. I didn’t want to continue the potential damage. But I do think this person might be a little full of him or herself, even in apology. I mean, I know I’ve been hurt in the past by other people’s actions and I’ve always gotten over it in time. Nobody sits around wounded forever unless they have problems going back much further than this. People are strong and I have a feeling this woman has endured and will endure much greater tragedy than being dumped by the author of this post. Perhaps the author has suffered the greater damage through his own actions?
— Matt Tuesday March 20, 2007 #
I don’t agree with the above commenter.
However, I think it would have been more poignant to post a picture of yourself, alongside.
I appreciate, and perhaps she would too, your regret.
We’ve all hurt people in the past, and as grown ups realize the mistake.
Your regret shows that you’re a decent person.
Now.
To me anyway.
— radmila Tuesday March 20, 2007 #
i see many things in her face—-
CERTAINLY NOT HURT
must be confused in what she said
i thought she was talking about a child
you never look like that with a child, unless you caught them in the act of getting caught.
jan
— jano Monday March 26, 2007 #
Sometimes, guilt can get between you and an understanding of what really happened. I blamed myself for the collapse of my last relationship, and it took me half a year before I could admit that it was not entirely my fault.
He was a man who had grown up without love, who could lie to your face without even thinking about it. He hides within himself until there’s nothing left to see on the outside. All I could think about was how I used to be able to soften that shell, and how I used to make him so happy. But the truth is, nothing and no one can help him for long, until he learns to help himself.
Love is blind, and so is pain. You’ll soon come to realize that nothing is ever only one person’s fault.
— Khabok Wednesday June 6, 2007 #
The Saddest Thing I Own is a 2005 commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc., (aka Ether-Ore) for its Turbulence web site. It is supported by the Jerome Foundation in celebration of the Jerome Hill Centennial and in recognition of the valuable contributions of artists to society.

