The sadest thing I own is my loneliness. I have been alone now for 10 years. I was 27 when I broke up with my then girlfriend. We lived together for 8 years never having spent a day apart. We grew up I guess and grew apart. I don’t know what happend but I am sad it did. My 27th year was my worst for this reason. I find pictures of myself when we were together and I was smiling. Pictures of me since have a look that isn’t me. I have had 3 girlfriends since then. Usually after 6 months we drift apart and then I spend a few years searching. Monday I turned 37. Will I still be single when I am 40? Will I ever have that same feeling I had when I was content and happy with my first love? Will I ever be a husband? Will I ever have children? I am in the Army now headed for a tour overseas next year. I suppose maybe when I get back I will meet somebody, but why should then be any different than now? I see beautifull women everyday. I know I can be happy again, but for whatever reason, maybe I’m shy, it doesn’t happen for me. It’s hard not to give up, but I look everyday. I see the moon every night and I know she sees it to but I dont know who she is or where she is, but I am looking. Where are you? I am here. I miss you even though we have never met. I will find you, and tonight I will see you in my dreams. I have a message for you, I love you, and someday I will tell you and the moon will be my witness.
Tags: girlfriend, loneliness, wife
Other People's Thoughts
That was the loveliest message I have ever heard in my life. I hope you find your new love, you deserve it.
— Moonwatcher Thursday May 18, 2006 #
— An Objective Third Party Friday May 19, 2006 #
I too hope you find your match. Have you ever considered reaching out to your old love and letting her know how you feel? Final act of love… Perhaps she too remembers you with the same passion you describe. Or she doesn’t and you can move on…
— email@example.com Thursday June 1, 2006 #
Your message was posted on my 47th birthday. Spent alone, after 13 years since my divorce and very few dates since. I, too, wonder if I am meant to be alone for the rest of my life. Is there such a thing as “Mr. Right”?
— firstname.lastname@example.org Thursday June 8, 2006 #
i am also lonely
— vetta Sunday July 9, 2006 #
I wish you the very best in finding some one out there to love. You seem like a great guy and there is someone out there that will love you and that you will love and then you will be able to start your family.
— Shannon Friday August 4, 2006 #
I am lonely and feel distorted the love of my life left me, for someone who he barely knows, I thought he loved me, yet, if your love as true as it seems to be spilled out onto these pages after so many years, then my dear friend that is all you need to know, try and contact her, I read the other comment on how she may have the same passion, love knows no ends, give it a try, lonliness will fade in time if you find out after all these years there is nothing left, but I bet there is something there, go for it. I wish everyday and pray everynight that he comes back to me…
— RobzCutie69@yahoo.com Monday October 23, 2006 #
i wish for you to find her, or for her to find you. and i just bet she will.
— manuela Wednesday December 27, 2006 #
Don’t give up!Keep DREAMING!!! U never know when Lighting can strike! I’m almost 33, and I’m alone all my life! No parent’s who supose 2 love, no relatives, some friend’s far away from me… I was totally alone for the past 7 years!!! I mean Totally! Now She found me! I’ve got my Love! The first and the last one! I wish U never stop dreaming, my older brother!!!
— Emile Sunday June 17, 2007 #
I’m supposed to be happy but I’m not. I’m supposed to forget her, but I can’t. I’m married now, with kids and a lovely wife. We have a house, beautiful land, and plenty of money, but where is she. It’s been more than 15+ years since I left her for college. When I came back she was getting married. She told me to not call her back. Then I got married. Then four years later she called me again and said she had to see me. I’d been thinking about her every day. I still do. Is it an addiction? Am I just selfish? Is love just a selfish addiction, or is it the most powerful, most beautiful, and most sacred emotion in the world. My Church says God is love. How do I know which one this is? If after all these years I yearn to lay next to her, cuddle with her, walk with her, be with her in the car, laugh with her, and just watch her sleep, is this selfish or love? I told her that last time we talked that I still loved her dearly, and I would find her when we were old, and we would grow old together. Will this love wear and will I forget this promise? Or, will someday this prophecy come true, and we will need each other again. Love each other forever as we promised, and hold hands as we die together. If you are reading this please contact me again and tell me how you are. Please – I need to know you are okay.
— Chris Wednesday June 20, 2007 #
I am the person who originally wrote the entry entitled Where Are You. I wrote that entry almost 2 years ago. I was surprised anybody had ever read it, and even more surprised anybody had responded to it. I have come back tonight to say thank you for all of your kind words and wishes. I never did contact my exgirlfriend looking to reunite with her. I figured there was good reason we are each others ex’s. I dont think you can ever really go back. I have however contacted her on occasion for other reasons. The last I heard she was a school teacher which is something she had always wanted to be. This is nice because she worked very hard for many years to achieve this and put herself through college to do it. I also wanted to add a little more to my entry to give it some closure. Four months before I wrote the entry I had been on a cruise. I was injured during Basic Training in the Army I went on a cruise after I was sent home to get some rest. On this cruise I met a woman named Antoniya. The first day of the cruise I exited the elevator and saw her working in one of the ships stores. We started talking daily and continued talking to each other the entire time I was on the cruise. When the cruise ended I gave her my phone number and email address and told her I would like to here from her again. I thought I would be returning to the Army which is something I have yet to do because I never quite healed properly from my injury. I figured as I left the ship I would see a small piece of paper with my contact details fly out of the ships window and I would never hear from her again. When I returned home there was an email from her and she soon called me. We stayed in contact with each other for a few months and then lost contact with each other. In october of 2006 she called me again and I decided to go see her where her ship ported in Galveston Texas. She told me she thought I had lost interest in her, and I told her I thought she had lost interest in me. She said she always thought there was something special about me and she thought she should contact me again once her ship was back porting in the U.S. I am pleased to say we married February 17th 2007. In 11 days it will be my one year anniversary. Unfortunately though, because she is not American, she is Bulgarian, she has not been allowed to move here to be with me. I have only seen her about 10 hours since we married. Her application for citizenship is almost complete and she will be here sometime in May I believe. We send each other text messages, emails, and phones calls everyday. She is the best person I have ever known. She is beautifull, smart, funny, educated, friendly, and I love her very much. I am glad I never gave up hope in finding a wife. We plan on having children within a few years and living a wonderful life together. Sometime in the next few months I will go to Bulgaria to have a formal wedding in front of her family and friends which is something we werent able to do at our first wedding. Unfortunately though, the Army called me today and I am scheduled for an interview within the next month to see if I am able to return to training which would mean living on base for about 4 months and probably deploying soon after training ends. I have never fully recovered from my injuries but the Army will determine whether I am fit to return or not. I just want to be with my wife and live in peace. Being a United States Soldier was something I had always wanted to be, I tried, and I failed because I was injured. I did graduate Basic and completed most of AIT at age 36, but I just could not continue. Had it not been for being injured I would never have gone on the cruise to lay on the deck of the ship and get some rest after spending 3 months with a fractured pelvis and legs at AIT. Its funny how life works out. I will return and add another post when I know what will be happening. Thanks again for all of your comments. email@example.com
— Paul Wednesday February 6, 2008 #
The Saddest Thing I Own is a 2005 commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc., (aka Ether-Ore) for its Turbulence web site. It is supported by the Jerome Foundation in celebration of the Jerome Hill Centennial and in recognition of the valuable contributions of artists to society.